Toxic Masculinity

Toxic Masculinity

Attention Men! – I need you to read this. I want to talk about ‘Toxic Masculinity’. Before I start it’s important to mention this isn’t about targeting all men. There are some wonderful, loving, evolved men out there. This is to address the imbalance of accepted behaviour and societal norms.

What is it? – Toxic Masculinity is the harmful behaviour and attitudes commonly associated with some men. It is the practice that legitimises men’s dominant position in society. It regulates the idea that a ‘real man’ must show exaggerated masculine traits like being violent, unemotional and sexually aggressive.

New Zealand has a very prominent masculine culture due to our love of rugby, farming and hard drinking. It has certainly shaped the idea of the ‘good keen man’, but it has now done a lot of damage to our young men especially by creating an unrealistic benchmark that all men have to be like this. Some misconceptions that support this idea are

  • The idea that a real man needs to be strong and that showing emotion is a sign of weakness.
  • The idea than men can never be victims of abuse and talking about it is shameful.
  • The idea that any interest of things considered feminine to be a sign that you are gay.
  • The idea that men could never be a single parent and shouldn’t be involved in their children’s development and learning.

None of these could be further from the truth.

So how do we go about addressing this? We need to change the way how young boys and men are raised in today’s society. We do this by helping boys understand they don’t need to conform to archaic aggressive stereotypes of masculinity. By being aware of this, we can reduce antisocial behaviour, depression, anxiety, suicides, road deaths and of course domestic violence. It is imperative to show men, and especially boys that there are many ways to be a man. It is strength to call out a friend making inappropriate sexist remarks. It is strength to be in tune with your emotions and acknowledge you are vulnerable and need help. When your four-year old daughter is playing My Little Pony dress up and wants you to play the part of the Fairy Princess? You had better grab that tiara and cover yourself in glitter! That is strength.
Dane Haskell

Co-ordinator

Taranaki Safe Families Trust 

Email: tsft@xtra.co.nz